I have a problem. I don't use my credit cards. You might not think that's such a bad thing and really, it's not. But occasionally I do need to use one and I can never remember where I keep them. Are they in my sock drawer or the top drawer of my desk? Am I keeping them in the safe or are they frozen in a block of ice in the freezer? Honestly, I have no idea. The only credit cards I can find are expired ones. I know I'm supposed to destroy them when they are no longer of use but I keep wanting to use them in art projects I'll never create.
This weekend I needed purchase airfare to visit the Great White North. I could have used my check card because Alaska Airlines was running a ridiculously cheap promotion. But I wanted to use one of my rewards cards, specifically my Capital One No Hassle Something or Other Card. The one endorsed by stinky ill tempered barbarians which always reminds me of the men in my family. But I couldn't find it.
I logged onto the Capital One website to see if I could glean my credit card info there. I couldn't. I decided I would order a replacement card and saw that I could upload my own image to use as art work. I completely forgot for the time being that I was trying to buy plane tickets. I opened up my photo folder and started going through the 10,000+ images I've taken over the past few years, most of which are complete crap. But then I saw one of my favorites: The Dead Pigeon.
I shot it outside the showroom of the SF Mercedes dealership while an old starched white couple was looking at a new car. The old woman gave me shade saying what I was doing was morbid. I was like, "Give me a break lady, I'm taking it's picture not fucking it. Though..." I proceded to unzip my fly while I laughed maniacally.
It's also my favorite because as the saying goes: the best kind of pigeon is a dead pigeon. I don't know if that's a real saying but for the sake of this blog entry believe it's true.
I uploaded the image and got this snazzy mock up of the design.
What a magnificent looking credit card! I imagined sales clerks asking me the story behind the photo and all of us laughing as I said "Give me a break lady, I'm taking it's picture not fucking it. Though..." Good times would be had by all. Days would be brightened. World peace would occur! Cancer and HIV would no longer exist! All because of this dead pigeon credit card.
So imagine my dismay when I got this email this afternoon:
Dang!Well I guess I'm going to have to try a different image then. Something less deathy AKA mundane.
So this holiday season, when you think about why world peace hasn't happened or why there's still no cure for Cancer and HIV, remember it's because a kibosh was put on the dead pigeon credit card.