This what I saw on my way to Trader Joe's. A homeless man had pooped his pants. By vigorously shaking one leg, imitating peristalsis, he evacuated a turd which came out at his ankle. Obviously this man had performed this bathroom ritual before. This kind of deft defecation doesn't happen without practice.
I tweeted the scene and went about my own business: grocery shopping. I only needed a few things like arugula, smoked oysters, nuts and chocolate. As is the norm at all SF TJ locations, the place was buzzing. That meant there would be lines at the checkout. Indeed, when I walked up to check out, every register was engaged and the queues were three and four people deep.
When I have to wait in line I succumb to the impulse buys. I'm quite impressionable and a marketer's dream. Despite the fact I'm buying a bag of Tempting Trail Mix (so good) I start staring at the chocolate bars. The Lumpy Bumpy Bar stood out. I had to have it. So I picked one up.
Upon getting back to work I unwrapped the bar. Do you know what it looked like? Almost identical to the hobo's turd.
And I'm sad to say, it tasted like it too, I mean what I imagine it would taste like. I'm so bummed. Bummed? Haha. Bummed indeed.
