This afternoon after visiting a Wal-Mart Super Center in Pend Oreille, Idaho I joked with my sister that it's so easy to feel good looking up here since I have all my teeth, my beard is groomed and none of my clothes have holes in them. Seriously, this place is like the Deep Deep South of the North, if that makes any sense.
We spent most of the day in Sandpoint, which amazingly is a bastion of liberalism here in Idaho. I even met my first Idaho gay who shares my first name. He didn't seem like the other Idahoians (is that what they're called, or is it Spuds?) Turns out he's actually from Minnesota. It explained a lot.
Oh, by the way, there are so many Mormon women up here that look like the ones from the polygamist ranch in Texas it's unbelievable. Very plainly dressed in drab ankle length dresses and that horrid hair style. My sister wants to take the People Magazine featuring the poly-wives and run up to some of the Mormon gals here and ask, "May I please have your autograph?!"
Even if I'm kind of shit-talking Idaho and its residents I actually like it here. Provided I had the finances I would love to buy a summer home around Lake Pend Oreille (it doesn't even really need to be waterfront property but if I'm fantasizing... it does.) But I definitely feel like a fish out of water when I'm not with my mom or sister.
Oh, and on a totally different note, while in Spokane the other day my sister took pictures of me molesting a series of statues called "Jump" in front of the Spokane Arena. Good lord. Let me give any vain person a word of advice. If you come down with some sort of autoimmune disorder and you need to be put on Prednisone, find out if there's some other drug you can get on that won't make you fat. Seriously, I don't even recognize myself in the photos. It's embarrassing.