Can you tell me what the structure represented by this key chain is? Here's a hint, it's chemical composition is C19H28O2. It effects libido, energy, immune function and protects against osteoporosis. Still don't know what it is? Well, the adult male body produces twenty times the amount of this compound than that of an adult female body.
If you guessed testosterone, you're right. So if you are, or know of a man, whose either in doubt of his manhood or overwhelmingly into all things hyper-masculine this would be a great gift.
On a side note-- when I was looking at the picture of that key chain my latent inner chem geek thought-- oh that really should be represented like this:
I'm wondering how long its going to take before someone modifies this into a Prince Albert dangle and how long its going to take before I see a picture of it.
How many times have you been on a trip and had second thoughts on whether or not you turned off the coffeemaker, your iron, or one of the burners on stove top? Or perhaps you've had second thoughts on how responsible that pet sitter is, the one you've entrusted to feed your dog, cat, bird or fish and look after your house.
It's happened to me on a few occasions-- I'm either left wondering if I'm going to return to a burnt down building or a looted apartment where my dead pet has been flayed open and propped up like that cop in "Silence of the Lambs". Damn Hollywood and it's gruesome imagery.
Or perhaps you've returned home and your building is still standing and your pet is very much alive-- but you've been left a huge gift. I'm not talking about a 52" plasma TV either. I'm talking about a dead body-- the gift that keeps on giving, in the form of a rotten stench.
It was reported on the SF Gate today that a resident of the Upper Haight came home after an extend trip to find a dead body waiting for him. CBS 5 reported that the man was gift wrapped-- ok, I'm making that up. He was however "naked, had a plastic bag over his head and was wearing handcuffs" which could actually be gift wrapping if you're a sicko.
Neighbors are saying they hope it's just an isolated incident but point fingers at increased violence, vandalism and homelessness, according to ABC7. Um, duh! So it's apparent I'm not the only one who is seeing a upward crime trend.
The best line comes from SF Gate's reporting on the welfare of the cat. "The cat apparently was not greatly traumatized by the ordeal." Again, um duh! Am I the only person who remembers that cats kill for fun? I think investigators should keep this kitty at the top of their list of suspects.
UPDATE: 2/21/07 -- SF Gate reports officials have identified the nude dead man. He was in fact the pet watcher. I think it's time for the puss to confess.
I went grocery shopping today. The first time in two weeks. Needless to say I bought a shit load of groceries. I packed them all up in my three mismatched canvas bags like a good San Franciscan.
Because last week was rainy I had a few extra pieces of clothing hanging around my office. Mostly stuff I either didn't want to get wet or wore into the office when it was a cold morning. I tucked those clothes into the bags to take them home to be laundered.
Today I was wearing my typical outfit that's more or less my uniform: dark blue jeans, washed out blue zip-up hoodie, a stained Adidas baseball cap and black and gray tennis shoes.
I left work carrying my bags. I got to the corner of Bryant at 10th. There's a freeway on-ramp there and the light takes forever to change. I stared off and started daydreaming. Before I knew it the cars were slowing down because the intersection was blocked. It's the typical daily scene at that hour.
In the car nearest me was a forty-something woman. She rolled down her window and said, "This is for you. Happy Valentine's Day". She was shoving some green my way.
In the brief second my mind raced with these thoughts: Oh my god, I'm NOT homeless! I don't want to embarrass her or me. i wonder how much money that is?
Before I knew it my hand was reaching out to meet hers. I just sort of smiled and said, "God bless you."
So to all you chumps who tell folks that they've got to dress for success I want to let you know-- sometimes it pays to look unkempt and derelict. I mean, I'm a whole five dollars richer!
So I've started writing reviews again on Yelp. I've been torturing Courtney daily making her proof my missives. She strokes my funny bone or maybe I stroke hers. Its all confusing when a gay is with a straight and without instructions-- well I'm just helpless.
Courtney was quick to point out this fact: Yelp can be kind of mean. No, not with the surly comments written by it's users but with the truth-- I have no friends. Why, why are you so mean Yelp? Couldn't we have kept that a secret between you and me?
Of course I would have never known this had yelp not pointed it out to everyone. On my user page the image is this: