I'm Dreaming of a White Trash Xmas

A problem presented itself when trying to think of gifts for my two nephews ages 8 and 10. I only see the boys a few times a year. They're rather delightful... well when apart. Together they equal several natural disasters rolled into one, a Quaktsunoradoicane if you will. In their wake they'll leave frazzled grandparents and uncles hanging from the rafters or hiding under beds for days.

My desire to have kids is mercurial at best. After spending time with my nephews I realize that I should only ever have dogs-- or, if I do need something a little more human like an organ grinder monkey (it'd help pay for itself by panhandling for spare change.) But I relate well to kids if only because I have a great fondness for toys, watching cartoons and acting silly.

Taking into consideration that my nephews are growing up, and that with all loving intents and purposes can be best described as two little white trash ragamuffins, I think this years gift should reflect that. Luckily for me Amazon sells the perfect gift: The GR8 TAT2 Maker. As it's inevitable given their upbringing and their eventual need to rebel against their parents that one day the boys will be heavily tattooed. Plus, this valuable toy will be teaching them a trade which hopefully will keep them from becoming Meth dealers. Now I just need to find an at home play piercing studio and their Christmas will be made!