It's a fact: dolphins follow schools of tuna
In 1998 after an exhaustive collection of empirical data I made a startling discovery: the more dolphin knickknacks a woman owns the greater the likelihood she is a lesbian. So...
It's a fact: the majority of dolphin fans are lesbians
What empirical data did I have? I had house-sat for ten members of the Ukiah Group of Lesbian Yokels, also know by the acronym: UGLY. There were hundreds upon hundreds of porcelain porpoises on shelves and tables. Prints, paintings and window decals-- there wasn't anywhere I could turn and not see a dolphin with its perma-grin happy face.
Now there is a slight chance (only 0.013%) that a woman who owns a dolphin knickknack is not a lesbian. To think that all dolphin bric-a-brac belongs to lesbians would be foolish. But the discovery holds true especially when one thinks about this:
It's a fact: lesbians enjoy the taste of tuna