I was getting a salad at a sandwich shop on Mission, a very cramped space— only a few people can be in the shop at one time. There happened to be four of us in there on Tuesday when in walked two more customers. I didn’t bother to turn around but the owner of the shop’s face lit up.
A gravelly hoarse voice ordered a deluxe "light on the bacon but not because I’m watching my weight.” I turned slightly and saw it was a publicly elected official (PEO). I turned back around, not to give him any satisfaction that I recognized him as well.
I felt an inexplicable brush to my bottom followed by that hoarsely voice saying "pardon me." The PEO, in a black suit, had slipped behind me to get closer to the counter. What’s more curious was the manner in which he slipped by.
People have two choices (perhaps more— but two tried and true methods) of passing one another in tight places. The first: a “cheek-2-cheek” pass in which the passing person turns his or her back to the other person and moves accordingly. The second: the “spooning” method where the person passes as if he or she were spooning the other person, much like the bed cuddling method. PEO employed the latter technique.
Yes, the PEO spooned me. Such intimacy in my mind obviously puts the two of us on a first name basis from now on.
One pass is acceptable. Two— ok, he obviously has to get back by. However the third spooning pass was nothing more than gratuitous. I believe there was even a little shaky-shaky in there to rouse my interests.
If you’re wondering, I discerned he wears briefs and his wife probably isn't satisfied. Not because of his deficient pole size, but she seems to be a... errr, yeah.
PEO-- Call me.